Karkat: |
DAMN, I'M HUNGRY... |
Chills: |
Number 15: |
Karkat: |
OKAY? |
Chills: |
This live event, recorded on our CCTV system, |
Karkat: |
DO YOU DO THIS WITH EVERY CUSTOMER WHO WALKS IN HERE? |
Karkat: |
FUCK YOU, CHILLS. |
Chills: |
okay... |
Chills: |
Number 14... man does "something" to fast food order... |
Chills puts the Grimace Shake in Karkat's burger, and Skibidi Sauce to hide the taste.
Chills: |
Here you go... (quitely) bitch. |
Karkat: |
THANK YOU. |
Chills: |
The last thing you want is for that to be $29.99, but that will be what you get. |
Karkat: |
FUCK THIS, FUCK YOU, AND FUCK BURGER KING!
|
Karkat: |
THIS TASTES LIKE ASS. |
Karkat: |
UGH... |
Karkat: |
I DON'T THINK THAT WAS JUST A SHITTY BURGER. |
Karkat: |
JONESY, I THINK I WAS POISONED. |
Jonesy: |
Heh, only in Michigan! |
Karkat: |
THIS ISN'T FUNNY, ASSHOLE! I SWEAR TO KAI CENAT! |
Jonesy: |
Oh sh*t, Chills? |
Jonesy joins a gamemode rated "T" so he can swear.
Jonesy: |
That's fucked up. |
Eminem: |
Hi, my name is (huh) |
Karkat: |
SHUT UP, ASSHOLE! |
Karkat: |
THAT ASSHOLE, CHILLS, GAVE ME A GRIMACE SHAKE. I'M ABOUT TO FUCKING DIE. |
Jonesy: |
Catch me up to speed, Karkat. Reading is for nerds. |
Karkat: |
UGH, JONESY, THIS IS SERIOUS. |
Jonesy: |
uhh, ok. |
Karkat: |
ANYWAYS, HOW THE FUCK DO YOU HELP HERE, EMINEM? |
Eminem: |
Well, I can rap pretty fast |
Karkat: |
HOW TO SHUT THE HELL UP? |
Karkat: |
AUGH! |
Eminem: |
Okay, if you come over to my place, I can help you out. You'll be able to get into my flat by asking for the Real Slim Shady to stand up. |
Eminem: |
Alright, I'm gonna eat this candy now. |
Jonesy hangs up on both Eminem and Karkat.
Karkat: |
ALRIGHT. I'D BETTER DRIVE TO TILTED. OR THIS POISON IS GONNA MAKE ME DIE IN REAL LIFE. |
Karkat: |
IT'S A GOOD THING NOBODY POLICES SPEED LIMITS IN OHIO! |
Karkat: |
SHIT! |
Jordan: |
Do you have any idea how fast you were going? |
Karkat: |
UHH... |
Jordan: |
Alright, well, I need to write you a speeding ticket, do you have your ID? |
Karkat |
I DUNNO, DO YOU? |
Jordan: |
What? |
Karkat: |
WAIT, WAS THAT MICHEAL JORDAN? |
Karkat: |
WILL THE REAL SLIM SHADY PLEASE STAND UP? |
Jessie: |
Slim Shady, bitch? |
Karkat: |
YEAH, THAT'S THE FUCKER. |
Jessie: |
One moment, bitch. |
Eminem: |
Yo Karkat, what's rizzing? My name is Eminem, and I like to rap. |
Eminem: |
I've got the stuff set up for cancelling Grimace, but I'm gonna need you to sign up on Twitter first. |
Karkat: |
IT'S CALLED "X" NOW. |
Eminem: |
I'm from Detroit. |
Eminem: |
Whatever, I'll just make sure to write a scathing diss rap about you next. |
Karkat: |
SORRY, SLIM SHADY. |
Eminem: |
OK asshole, whatever. |
Karkat: |
YOU SURE THIS WILL WORK? |
Eminem: |
Yeah, it happens all the time. Be lucky I don't charge you for this. |
Karkat logs onto X, on the account @CarcinoGeneticist with the password SK1BIDIGYATTFANUMTAXFUCKYOU.
Eminem: |
Yo Grimace, you make me grimace, a pained expression like eating at McDonalds. Fuck you Ronald the only good commercials you had were still pretty bad -and Ohio- actually produced in Japan. I am from Detroit, the US is my city, and unlike your food, my diss raps aren't shitty! Ya-yeet, I've gyatt the rizz the shake, if there's one thing you don't know how to do, it's the Harlem Shake! I can bop Whip Nae Nae and Super Mario that Hoe, I crank and I roll cause i'm Eminem, yo! |
A faint "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHH" is heard from the neighboring 3 appartments. It's only a matter of time before this is uploaded to YouTube unofficially.
Karkat: |
THANKS EMINEM! YOU'RE A REAL "SIGMA", SHADY. I FEEL A LOT BETTER ALREADY. |
Eminem: |
You're welcome, one rapper to another. |
Karkat: |
THANK YOU EMINEM. YOU TRULY ARE THE REAL SLIM SHADY. |
Karkat goes back outside to his Kar, only to see a certain professional basketball player hanging around it.
Jordan: |
Hello, Karkat. |
Karkat: |
HOLY- SHIT! |
Jordan: |
I know, right? I didn't think I'd be pulling over Karkat, from hit song "Karkalicious"! |
Karkat: |
YEAH, IT'S CRAZY. |
Jordan: |
Unfortunately, since you ran away from the police, I'm gonna have to send you to prison... |
Karkat: |
AWW HELL NAH! |
Karkat: |
DAMN IT! |
== END OF EPISODE 1 ==